Healthy Community, Healthy You: Protecting your mental health as a Community Manager

During the Talkbase Community Rebellion Conference, Max Pete shared his practical tips and strategies to maintain mental health as a community manager. Originally a freelancer, he came across a freelance community and got very involved as a community manager. However, as time went on, he encountered a few hurdles balancing mental health and the demands of being in the community industry. Learning how to recognize when to step away, how to set and adhere to boundaries, and how to break a cycle that is no longer working for you, everything changes. 

Here are the main takeaways Max shared with us at the Community Rebellion Conference. These tips and strategies will help you prioritize your mental health as a community professional.

📽️ To view Max's session, as well as the others from the conference, click here.

Build Relationships with other community builders

Lots of the relationships I’ve started in the community space have started with a call just to get to know each other. Especially as a community team of one, it’s so important to build relationships with other community builders to share resources, connect, and learn from each other. You need people to turn to when you have a challenge, need insight, or simply want to connect with like-minded people.

If you don’t know where to start, or you feel intimidated reaching out to strangers, try the 5x5 rule. Every business day, reach out to five people. That’s five days a week, five people a day. At the end of the week, you will have reached out to 25 people. In a month, that’ll grow to 100 people. These people can include old co-workers, clients, people you follow online, etc. The 5x5 rule is a solid way to build your network. When you build your relationships you get support where you need it, and you get to help others where and when you can.

If you’re not sure how to craft a message, Max shares the following examples:

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Example of a message sent:

“Hey ______, I hope that you are having a solid week. I just wanted to reach out to say hello and that it would be really cool to get on a 1:1 call one of these days. Always enjoy chatting with other community builders.”

Remember to share support, share resources, talk and connect. The 5x5 rule does not need to be complicated, but it does need to be consistent. 

Ask for help

Asking for help can be a difficult thing to do because there is often an inherent feeling of shame when needing help with something. However, we all need help at some point, and it’s important to know when and how to ask for help when you need it. 

Max’s response to these challenges is to, “Kick the shame out of the way.” When you do ask for help, though, it’s important to be specific with your ask and who you’re asking. For example, if you’re working on a community strategy document, look in the industry to see who has experience doing this, and also consider what kind of help you need. It’s a much different ask if you are looking for validation and a sounding board, compared to guidance on how to start a strategy doc. Look into your network to understand the best person to help you with your request.

Additionally, be mindful of timing - when does this need to be done by, and also does the person you’re asking have enough bandwidth and timing? If that person has a deadline coming up or is about to leave on vacation, for example, it might not be the best time to seek help. You want to still be considerate of the other person’s availability.

Lastly, if you ask someone for help and they say no, don’t take it personally or as a reflection of yourself. Chances are they would be willing to help you, but it might not be the right type of ask for them, or perhaps their schedule is tight and they can help you later. And of course, the energy you put out in the world gets put back to you, so if you ever have the capacity to help someone else, Max would highly encourage doing so. 

Set Boundaries

Becoming a bit clearer and firmer on what your boundaries are can bring peace of mind. Max found motivation in what he didn’t want in his life - for example, stacked morning meetings, when to log off for the evening, and he practiced setting the boundaries. It was a way for him to write what he didn’t want in his life. 

Being protective of your schedule is very important in setting boundaries. If, for example, people on your team are messaging you at all hours of the day, you should let them know when you are and aren’t available. It’s also a two-way street, meaning if you want to be able to log off when you’re on vacation and not have people messaging you, you can also make it a practice not to message people when they are out of office. 

Explore what isn’t working in your day and consider setting new boundaries to create a healthier routine for you. Here’s what might help:

• Set clear boundaries and be firm when it comes to them
• Block out your schedule for what’s a non-negotiable
• Be protective of your schedule (no one else will be)
• Learn to say no (offer an alternative)
• Have an accountability partner that will speak up if you’re breaking your boundaries
  

Lastly, remember building new habits is about breaking the old ones, so don’t be too hard on yourself. 

Get fresh air

Max developed a daily habit of an afternoon walk that is essential to his well-being. He books it on his calendar and sticks to the schedule. 

Getting outside for your daily dose of fresh air doesn’t need to take a lot of time out of your day. For example, stepping away from the screen for just 20 minutes has incredible benefits like reducing stress and lowering blood pressure.

Reflect and celebrate your wins

Lastly, reflecting on a daily basis is key. There are three questions you can ask yourself at the end of each day, they are:

• What went well?
• What didn’t go well?
• What am I looking forward to tomorrow?

Reflecting gives us the power to remember the good and understand the bad. It doesn’t have to be these three questions, but just taking time on a consistent basis to check in on yourself to see how you’re doing. 

Tip: Max uses an app called How We Feel, an emotional well-being journal to track his mood. 

Checking in is a great way to see how things are. Sometimes one bad moment can overpower all the good. Instead, when we reflect, we see reality. 

One other way to reflect is to keep a “Wins” folder on your desktop. Inside this folder are clips of nice comments and messages from the community. Also included are any recognitions, awards, or simple mementos from the day worth celebrating. Open it to see that you’re on the right track. Get in the habit of celebrating yourself regularly because this is a way to get reminded of the impact you make.

When you focus on a healthy you, you build a healthier community. You create your life and work balance your way, and that’s something to celebrate. As Max quoted to end his presentation, “Do something nice for yourself today. Find some quiet, sit in stillness, breathe, put your problems on pause. You deserve a break.” 

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